Sunday, April 26, 2009

FINDING MY SELF

Why don't I sit in the streets
with the homeless
why don't I sit around all day
laughing with all my friends
why do I sometimes feel
a divine lonliness
why doesn't my heart
do more
why do the nights
turn dark
why is there a bag lady
in every town
why am i not playing divine music
to the whole world
why is life too short
or too long
why do we need
fire air water
why am I often
frightened
why didn't my dad
give birth to a child
why do I always seem
unlucky
why can't I live like
the bronze pigeon
why now that I'm old
I don't want to run the show
why is there a sacred
and a profane
why are there so many
self help wwriters
why can't I write poems like Cohen
or do I want to
why do I seek love
and not hate
why is my house cluttered
and not sparse
why do I keep adding
and not subtracting
why does my lover look at me
when I cry
why do I mask
my insecurity
why do i want to live
and not die
why don't I know that the universe
is inside me
why don't I appreciate
the small things
why was I more mature
when I was a child
why does god tempt us with
whiskey drugs and religion
why is the robe of a preacher
cleaner than a beggars' shirt
why are our hearts not
interlocked
why is there obstruction
to the openness
why do I ask if I will
transcend
why don't I acknowledge
this moment is the best
why do I know
not knowing the answer
is the answer
as I dig deeper inside myself

7 comments:

carole said...

Wow! That's a lot of questions. The ones that stood out for me were 'why can't I write poems like Cohen', 'why does my lover look at me/when I cry' and 'why don't I know that the universe/is inside of me'. I've always found it difficult to understand a person wanting to die rather than live. Even in the worst of times, i've always wanted to live.

Wayne Pitchko said...

questions....no kiddin....and I could still be asking them...and will continue I guess....one of my grandaughters still and always asks "how come" and "why"...everyone gets tired of listening to her....i keep telling everyone....just let her keep asking....Grandpa loves it.

Irene Toh said...

good questions, they touch the stuff that we grapple within us, like why is there a bag lady in every town, why is the robe of a preacher cleaner than a beggar's shirt, why don't I acknowledge this moment is the best...

Kimberly said...

I really like where you went with this. This part especially spoke to me:

'why do I know
not knowing the answer
is the answer'

Indeed.

angie said...

I like the whys...

and I've noticed that "why was I more mature/ when I was a child" thing myself, much to my own kids' disappointment!

Elizabeth said...

The whys are definitely where it's at. It's an approach to the metaphysical that speaks deeply to me.

Liz - www.blog.elizabethenslin.com

Wayne Pitchko said...

thanks again everyone...I think we are all amazing how we all write and share and encourage....very nice indeed