+poga+poetry+by+wayne.jpg)
The night was dark
she was a happy bubbly specimen
I waved to her
she smilled
I went up to her like a flood of jewels
told her all about my past
and about how noble the police were
about how I just returned from Russia
which was more enlightening than the church
and she listened attentively at my lunacy
as I told her no lie
she laughed
I laughed
will you kiss me?
no no no its impossible she said
my lips are cold
I have ice in my veins
and need another fix
as she hurried away
(using prompt words..specimen, lunacy, impossible, veins)
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18 comments:
This is so vrbrant! I love, "I went up to her like a flood of jewels"!
I like this Wayne, especially these lines:
will you kiss me?
no no no its impossible she said
my lips are cold
I have ice in my veins
and need another fix
as she hurried away
Good write!
There's such a story here. It would be lunacy to tell anyone all. :)
thanks again....for taking the time...your all amazing
yet again: a cinematic poem with great visuals and feeling
Very compelling images. The end is quite moving.
Liz - www.blog.elizabethenslin.com
Very compelling images. I found the ending particularly moving.
Liz - www.blog.elizabethenslin.com
"I called you tonight for a kiss, dummy." - Imaginary response from the Ice Queen. ;-)
Brilliant, brilliant. Esp the ending.
"called me for a kiss" hmmm but you called me a dummy.....hey there might be a poem here including a dummy and an ice queen....dummy putting on his thinking hat
Yeah, and then she said "Too many jewels are blinding!" as she walked right past him arms out, feeling her way, lol. Have a good night, Wayne. Btw, how is your partner's knee? I hope you are a good cook. ;-)
so crisp, so real.
and thanks for your kind words.
i enjoyed reading this...
especially these lines
will you kiss me?
no no no its impossible she said
my lips are cold
I have ice in my veins
and need another fix
as she hurried awaylooking forward to your next...
Yikes...I guess I am a dummy then..My partner is doing well...walking a bit with walker..and doing rehab...ex and such...and of course dear wayne is the nurse...cooking? well im getting better..she is a dynamite cook...runn ing Eleven22 Grill and Liquids (they got a web site) with her son....but hey im trying..maybe between the 2 of us we can get the "dummy" poem going
Let's. I am already on it. Thanks, Wayne. =)
Wayne, if you are a dummy, then so am I. How is this for a start? Feel free to critique, add to, write a response. Btw, I can handle lit crit much better than personal attacks. ;-)
How foolish am I to chase a ghost
and say 'goodbye' to your kiss?
Afraid of what I wanted the most,
I ran away from rapturous bliss.
Your eyes as hungry as my heart,
Your smile slew my pride.
I wanted you but chose to part,
Yet you had found a place inside.
So alone I walked away, alone,
and thought of 'what if we held hands?'
And wondered of the words you chose,
whether I should have changed my plans.
I like your dark ending -- left me rather sad (but then again I'm a glutton for pain). Good use of the words.
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