FINDING MY SELF

Why don't I sit in the streets
with the homeless
why don't I sit around all day
laughing with all my friends
why do I sometimes feel
a divine lonliness
why doesn't my heart
do more
why do the nights
turn dark
why is there a bag lady
in every town
why am i not playing divine music
to the whole world
why is life too short
or too long
why do we need
fire air water
why am I often
frightened
why didn't my dad
give birth to a child
why do I always seem
unlucky
why can't I live like
the bronze pigeon
why now that I'm old
I don't want to run the show
why is there a sacred
and a profane
why are there so many
self help wwriters
why can't I write poems like Cohen
or do I want to
why do I seek love
and not hate
why is my house cluttered
and not sparse
why do I keep adding
and not subtracting
why does my lover look at me
when I cry
why do I mask
my insecurity
why do i want to live
and not die
why don't I know that the universe
is inside me
why don't I appreciate
the small things
why was I more mature
when I was a child
why does god tempt us with
whiskey drugs and religion
why is the robe of a preacher
cleaner than a beggars' shirt
why are our hearts not
interlocked
why is there obstruction
to the openness
why do I ask if I will
transcend
why don't I acknowledge
this moment is the best
why do I know
not knowing the answer
is the answer
as I dig deeper inside myself